Session on Strategic Clarity and Party Cohesion
“Everybody shut up for a minute. Now what’s wrong with me?” the Democratic Party exclaims, staggering into the office bruised from internal conflict, seemingly unaware it’s been punching itself in the face for months. The Party collapses onto the couch, worn out from its own progressive-versus-moderate brawl.
The Party Psychologist doesn’t flinch. With clipboard in hand, the diagnosis is swift: “You’re schizophrenic.” Multiple voices shouting over one another, no unified personality, and an inability to form coherent decisions. If healing is possible before 2028, the therapy must begin now—starting with a hard conversation about Representative Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez.
AOC has charisma, organizing power, and social media dominance—but lacks executive experience. The question isn't whether she's inspiring. It's whether she can lead a nation.
Progressive voices have filled the void left by centrists—but virality has overtaken viability. Popularity is not preparation. And this identity crisis is destabilizing.
If progressives act like independents, use Democratic resources, and pull the party off-course—they should formally declare their political identity. Clarity breeds trust. Deception fractures coalitions.
Proposed Rule: No Democratic candidate qualifies for the presidential nomination without executive experience (e.g., governor or cabinet-level leadership).
Progressive organizing is real and effective—but it must be tied to governing, not just messaging. That means supporting down-ballot leaders and running for executive offices—not just national attention.
AOC could lead in delegates without a viable campaign to win. This would split the party and empower the opposition, just like in 2016. The DNC must act early to prevent chaos.
The party must protect its function. Leaders must be qualified to govern—not just to inspire. It’s time for a new party framework rooted in clarity, structure, and leadership ability.
Preamble:
This pledge is for all those who have not held executive office, but seek the presidency. It calls for clarity, humility, and a commitment to building party credibility.
Candidate Signatures:
ALEXANDRIA OCASIO-CORTEZ ─────────────
KAMALA HARRIS ─────────────
PETE BUTTIGIEG ─────────────
[Additional Unqualified Candidates Here]
The Democratic Party is not broken—but it’s fractured. Without strong boundaries and standards, it will be steered by spectacle, not substance. The 2028 election starts now. Structure is sanity. Experience is eligibility. Let’s build both.
Party Psychologist (closing their notebook):
“Well, that’s about all the time we have today. We've diagnosed your schizophrenia, addressed your codependency on unqualified candidates, and confronted your fear of commitment to actual leadership. I’m prescribing one thing: boundaries. And a debate-stage bouncer.”
Democratic Party (sits up, disheveled but enlightened):
“Wow. That was... brutal. But fair. I’ve been gaslighting myself for years. Maybe it isn’t empowering to let everyone run the ship.”
Party Psychologist:
“Exactly. Not everyone with a megaphone gets to be the captain. And please — no more trying to date both reality and revolution at the same time. It's exhausting to watch.”
Democratic Party (straightening tie, adjusting donkey ears):
“Okay. From now on, only grown-ups with résumés get on the ballot. No more auditions on Instagram. Governors up front, influencers to the back.”
Party Psychologist (smiling, handing over a ‘Don’t Run Unless You’ve Run Something’ pamphlet):
“There’s hope for you yet. But remember: if you listen to all the voices in your head again, I’ll have to bill double next time.”
Democratic Party (standing tall, brushing off confetti and claw marks):
“I’ve got this. I’m not perfect — but I’m done being the party of chaos.”
(The Democratic Party walks out the door. AOC peeks through the waiting room window. Pete Buttigieg adjusts his resume. Gavin Newsom fluffs his hair in the mirror. The psychologist sighs deeply and re-locks the cabinet marked ‘Unqualified Hopefuls.’)
Fade out. Cue the outro music from The West Wing.